How shocking and sad that there is NOWHERE in London for me to go anymore

How shocking and sad, that there is NOWHERE in London for me to go anymore. Even last year there was Lavinia, Mary, Maria, Zara, Marianna. Well Zara and Mary still there aren’t they, it is you who don’t want to go. Let me just travel MORE. Book a regular Eurostar to Brussels a month in advance every time.
Goethe? “paralysed by the disappointments of fulfilled desire”/ “the prison of sated appetite”.
I don’t know what to do with myself when I am home all day. Better to go out, get drunk, come home pass out I do tend to think. Well I will have to go out tomorrow in that case. Go to Charing X for ——-, Angel for haircut, — for names.

Natalia Strelchenko murdered in her Manchester home by her partner it seems

Natalia Strelchenko murdered in her Manchester home by her partner it seems. An extraordinarily brilliant & charismatic pianist, I saw her three Januarys in a row at the Wigmore Hall, on one of these occasions I queued to have her sign one of her CDs and asked her to address it to my (not yet) wife, and in trying to explain to her how to spell my wife’s strange name she became visibly distressed, and I suspected her then to possess a very fragile temperament as geniuses often do. I am terribly saddened by the news. My weight was 17 stone when I got on scales before bed, got off readjusted it back to zero, tried again and it was 16’8. This morning before bath and AFTER a big shit back to 16’3.

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Why have the last few visits not been so good? Why did my new golden age rather stall? Is it them or is it me?

Why have the last few visits not been so good? Why did my new golden age rather stall? Is it them or is it me? What balance of them and me? Well now I am in trouble. Names up and ——– at ———. I can be there by 830. Try to avoid the tips, just put pounds in the pot, and it should be OK. But do I really want to go? To see the curve of ——-‘s amazing arse. That is the No.1 thought actually. I do have 2 days off to recover.