Is there anyone in my life at the moment? I don’t go looking for relationships, I go looking to avoid them, like with —-. But there is nothing like a Boadicea Ursula, or Lemon Tree big tits. If I am going through a Dowson phase again, I should return to Porcupine perhaps, that blonde in Magnus Puke? Being given this ——- chance was meant to give me chance to bloom and blossom; have I? Am I? It does not feel it is happening. The Paris attacks and Brussels imminent terror lockdown have shrivelled things right now. It will take a while for confidence to return. A long while with nothing happening. How good I felt Wednesday night with Dominican Republic Lucy, Bruna, Beatrice, black lady, Inna. I certainly felt I was blooming & blossoming then, before the news from Brussels crushed everything. If only there was an Ursula or Lemon Tree type around, but I have been saying that for years.