I drink to try and achieve the high that I see my “heroes” got with their cocaine or opium addictions; but I think I am too old to ever indulge in coke or heroin addiction. But drink generally just makes me want to piss, eat and sleep, more than anything else. 7 cans of Jupiler and I still don’t feel drunk enough to leave the hotel. I’m pissing like a sieve, to make a metaphor nonsensical, but I still don’t feel ready to head up to Gare du Nord. 155pm. But the important thing today is: I feel I am following my own river; I’m not drinking to artificially kill time like yesterday. I’m drinking for the sheer pleasure of it today. River following its own course.