So my THREE night trip in Brussels Saturday Sunday Monday at end of October is booked with Eurostar Snap £50

So my THREE night trip in Brussels Saturday Sunday Monday at end of October is booked with Eurostar Snap £50; just going to wait a while longer with Max to see if it goes up or down. Feel relaxed about the trip. Not too expensive and not too long, and by then Project —– should be mostly completed. All the really most important stuff is already there anyway. And late arrival Saturday, all day Sunday all day Monday is enough drinking time; after that I am sodden & dull. 3 night stay is perfect.

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So many amazing bosoms bouncing along Piccadilly last night, the brunette in black trousers and black jumper over lovely big boobies the first of them

So many amazing bosoms bouncing along Piccadilly last night, the brunette, in black trousers and black jumper over lovely big boobies the first of them.
Then on way home this morning on B—— platform London side walking to exit black bun, olive green sweater dress over most enormous bouncy knockers and black stockings. Absolutely sensational. Can you IMAGINE working in the office all day with that???? I would have an erection all day and be masturbating in the toilets 20 times a days.

Time to book that October trip to Brussels at least? Or risk it and wait for a Snap ticket closer to the time?

Time to book that October trip to Brussels at least? Or risk it and wait for a Snap ticket closer to the time? No, done it now. Booking window open till 1st Nov, so I booked ticket out Saturday afternoon coming back afternoon Tuesday. Gives me TWO full days in Brussels Sunday and Monday, more than enough to be honest. And Tuesday chance for a last Cine Paris or Gare du Nord window before my late Eurostar home. Then I have Wednesday Thursday and Friday free in London. Max is looking EXPENSIVE 225 euros for 3 nights. Dare I wait till the time? Weekend is risky of course. That is when they will be busiest.

This whole weekend Friday to Sunday has been completely ruined by my own FEARS. Nothing else

This whole weekend Friday to Sunday has been completely ruined by my own FEARS. Nothing else. Nothing real. Just fears of bad reaction to my letter. The stupidness of me. LIVE WILDLY. How lovely to be free of desire. I AM WEDEKIND. FLAUNT IT IN THEIR FACES. People like —– live in wonder at the life I lead.

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Woke around 2pm (after pee break at 1119 already). Weight down to 15’1 almost 15 dead

Woke around 2pm (after pee break at 1119 already). Weight down to 15’1, almost 15 dead. Because I had NO breakfast before bed. Keep to that. So close to breaking that 15 barrier but can never quite do it. If I survive this, I will be so relieved, so happy. I will be flying. So last night nearly here, then 2 days off…..to go to —–??? What a sinking tawdry feeeling that gives me. That is all that London has left. This is why I cannot stop travelling just to be held in suspension. Sitting in a bar in Brussels staring out the window, drinking Jupiler or Maes or Stella. Or sitting in a bar in Vienna drinking Zipfer or Ottakringer or Weaselburger. But it is in those places, that oblivion, I am happy. Even if I am sad, I can wallow happily in that sadness. Are there others who actually feel HAPPY if allowed to wallow in their sadness? But I get no pleasure in wallowing in this sadness in London, it has to be in Europe, in one of my favourite cities in Europe. My 4 cities in the autumn stars—Berlin (though I don’t think I will ever go back there), Brussels, Munich (has become a stopover only) and Vienna. That first 1999 Grand Tour when I first set foot in Europe has branded itself into my psyche so deeply. It was like a branding iron, and I can only ever be happy in those same 4 cities.

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