“I still think there must be an Esmeralda out there with my name on her but I may never find her” I wrote in 2010 after my one night Vienna visit, where I discovered Pour Platin shut down. Well, yes I have found her haven’t I—FROM Twelfth Night 2014 trip to Vienna under Wagnerian skies and Fortuna Blonde, Amanda WSK, Andrea, Julia and Lucy in 5th Avenue, Adelina in Manhattan, not to mention the great times I had in Soho with Zara, Maria, Lavinia, Marianna, etc. Loyalty and fidelity weighed me down, and then for most of the past 12 months the pox weighed me down.
I wonder if I will ever meet someone I will fall for again? I mean EVER again. An —, a —–, a —–. Will I ever fall for a girl again? There is Inna at 5th I am attracted to. Adelina at Manhattan I was attracted to. Christ she WAS beautiful wasn’t she. Maybe she was just on holiday last time. I am attracted to —– it is true. HAHAHA how my exploits drive my enemies mad, even just wondering wondering wondering WHAT is he getting up to? Hahahahahahaha.
Will I ever have another Lucy, Adelina moment; an Amanda WSK moment? Second half of July and still this year not caught fire at all yet for me. Looks like Inna has gone forever. Lucy gone forever, WSK Amanda gone forever. You have to grab hold of them in that brief precious moment when they are around. Now haha thinking of Denitsa in Manhattan.
Funny why Vienna affected me so little this time. Leaving the Dorint scuppered me a lot, and no Adelina. And rubbish films in WSK. Berlin has those good BEC kabins, and staying at Kanthotel will be SUCH a thrill again. A new nexus. Just May to get through, and to be honest the sexiest most turning me on girls I have met for a long long time have been the —– girls.
And so if I’ve not met anyone I really fancy on this trip to Vienna, that puts back any return visit to some indefinite distant point. I’ve not seen anything to make me rush back for. Saw nothing in Brussels to rush back for. I question my whole way of life, again. I hope I can enjoy Nuremberg on my return. The thing is, if I’d met a really mind-blowing floozie e.g. Adelina from last time, that would have lifted my spirits so much that I WOULD definitely be inspired to go to the Belvedere, and other cultural things; but with my spirits not really being lifted that much by anyone, I have little enthusiasm for the cultural things either. I should perhaps force myself up to Angelique at least tonight. One last try.
My pox too bad to take my trousers off with Adelina again, or anyone. So the whole Vienna trip is pointless. Still it is now just 4 days away! Life in London is pointless, there is nothing for me to do in London except keep going to —— and wasting hundreds of pounds there. Nothing else. So I keep travelling. And yet Brussels has now become a deadly dangerous place to go. Berlin’s pleasure almost completely wiped out with the destruction of Stuttgarter Platz. This time last year coming back from Vienna I said how pointless it was and disappointing. That was BEFORE my infection, but also BEFORE I started using rhino horn.
I am starting to feel a hunger, a yearning, for Adelina in Manhattan; at least for Manhattan whoever is there. Obviously check out Angelique and WSK as well. Perhaps pointless detours as far as Burggasse Peep and ML Revue as usual, and as usual vowing never to bother again. Fortuna Kino is off the list now they have stopped having the hookers. I might pop up as far as Wahringer Kino, and even the Club Exzess. Perhaps a tram ride to Belvedere or U-Bahn into Leopold or Albertina.