The story of Brussels this time was wonderful erections in Le Coin, and 5th Avenue, wonderful —— in Cine Paris and Sexyworld videokabins, good sex with Beatrice and also seeing black Brigit in the street. Almost permanent arousal. Paola or Lucy would have made it more.
Today maybe some more beer before 11, then head to Old Masters? Bus back to Cafe le Coin? Finish in Cine Paris? No 5th Avenue that is for sure! Gare du Nord?
Ah yesterday was the 17th anniversary of The Sublime & Ridiculous World of Francis Bacon. Yes the ridiculousness of my world became crushingly clear to me yesterday, but it began and ended sublimely.
Today is 10th anniversary of losing my Vienna virginity to Maria in Pour Platin. If a girl had come into the Cine Paris yesterday I could have f–ked her like an animal no trouble. So just a bad moment, wrong time with Andrea in 5th. I was so turned on with Manuela in Burggasse Peep after all I came twice, and exploded — all over her face! So turned on with beautiful Melissa in Manhattan. Try to get to Old Masters, bus back to Cine Paris, and then perhaps quick look at Gare du Nord. Leave hotel 330 for 456 Eurostar. St Pancras by 6pm, can check out Scotsman perhaps.
I have had too MUCH arousal over the last 9 days, if that is possible. There is nothing left in my tank. The well has run dry.
LET ME JUST LOSE MYSELF IN PORNOGRAPHY MORE THAN EVER. CONSTANT PRIAPIC AROUSAL. ON THE BRINK OF IT ALL THE TIME. Depressed. Being in London is depressing. I realise without my wife there is not one single thing I want to be in London for. She was the only good thing here. Bored, sombre, depressed, just want to lie my head down to sleep again. That is all I do these days. No motivation to do anything else. I do love my bed so much. My ferns, my classical music, my books. Fragile. Bleak. This is how I start 20–.
I could do a Hitler tour of Munich couldn’t I, which would mean staying for at least 2 nights. Go see all those Beerhouses he used to hold his meetings in.