I am not a bad person, but the only world I feel comfortable in is the world of strip clubs, and brothels, and porn cinemas. The only time I feel at ease, and relaxed, and where I am meant to be; the only time my soul really soars. This precludes me from all normal “healthy” relationships; I feel suffocated, and imprisoned in them. My true nature just becomes ever stronger as I get older; it does not go away; on the contrary, it becomes more insistent; more strident; more unwilling to compromise. There are so many beautiful young women in the world and I want to enjoy as many of them as I can for as long as I can—given I have already lost in London: Carnival Strip, Astral Cinema, Sunset Cinema, Soho Cinema, Boulevard Strip, Peep Show (all of them), Pleasure Lounge; in Berlin: almost ALL of Stuttgarter Platz; in Vienna, Pour Platin and Fortuna Kino; in Brussels California Kabins and Cine ABC; as well as other places I lost before I even knew they existed—the knocking shop right outside the door of Gare du Midi Brussels; the Martin Luther Strasse sex kino in Berlin. Serious ill-health or terrorism or random accident can strike me down at any moment, so I must live every moment as if it is my last. I do not want to die financially healthy with no fantastic memories; I would rather die in extreme debt but with the most fantastic collection of dirty memories, dirty experiences.
I want to be really out of my head with wild animal lust for a girl before I will go with her, which is why I so rarely do anything in these brothels. First week of July might be good time to go. Vienna is on the backburner, Munich is over, Brussels I did not fancy doing anything with anyone in 5th Avenue or Le Coin or Gare du Nord, and Cine Paris films were poor, so no real point rushing back there; finally time for Berlin trip then?
I put my books on Amazon like putting them in a bank vault, and sealing them in a time capsule. No one is interested in them now, of course not, but when I am dead, and people start to dig around and wonder who was this strange man, they are all there on Amazon waiting for them, and they will be discovered. Hopefully by then, many many years from now, it will be quite a sizable and unique body of work. It seems to have little value now, some man going to strip clubs and brothels and night bars, amongst other places, and writing about it, but decades from now, perhaps when prostitution and stripping and pornography and masturbation have long since been banned, my books will be unearthed and dusted off, the cobwebs swept away, and it will be an incredible record of a world long since disappeared, like Charlton Heston discovered the head of the Statue of Liberty sticking out of the beach.
Purnksaal, or Splendid Hall, was built for the Imperial Library in 1721.
All Christmas Day means to me is a day when there is no transport (and the strip clubs and brothels are closed). Therefore it is my most hated day of the year. And even for the days either side of it all the sexy girls in a city go back home to their own countries to be with their families. The whole Christmas period is a bleak wasteland. That is why the Twelve Days of Christmas mean so much to me, it is a real electric countdown to January 6, Epiphany, when the world and the city return to life, and the sexy girls start to return to resume their work. It is a day I return to life.
As I always say it is the strip clubs and the brothels that taught me how to live. First in Soho in London, then to Munich Schillerstraße and Berlin Stuttgarter Platz. In Vienna I never actually did very much; from 1999 to 2013 I only ever had sex with one lady of the night; it was only in the first months of 2014 that Vienna started to come to life for me, with the discovery of the Fortuna and WSK kinos.