In October I was running a Current Account (Balance of Payments) deficit of 16.99%, in November I brought this down to 11.47%, in December down to 4.72%, and in January it looks like I could possibly bring it down to a SURPLUS of 5.43%. So real visible proof of the great strides I am making. Under the surface so far, but soon I will see the effects “above the surface”, in reduced credit card interest and reduced credit card minimum payments. Then my SURPLUS will improve even more. Interesting January I will move into surplus even WITH the 5-night stay in Brussels and extra £133 Eurostar cost.
Since I gave up —– my stripper expense has gone down from 23% of my spend to 19.6%. Since I stopped eating sandwich and chocolate at night my food spend has gone down from 13% to 11%. Next thing to bring down is my drink spend, if I stop going out pointlessly to London pubs on days off and make do with Fosters on way home. It IS rather nice this long 3-day hibernation in the house. Working all over Xmas and New Year, this is my chance to spend time overeating, overdrinking and oversleeping as others did over Xmas and New Year. How lovely it is to be home with mother. Hearing her listening to the radio while doing the ironing in the next room. These are the precious times. It was hard for me to give up drinking coke but now I am allergic to it. It was hard for me to give up strippers but now I am almost, almost allergic to them. Need to give up drinking in London on my days off, and give up travelling EVERY MONTH. I can turn everything around. The light at the end of the tunnel was in my power all the time. My —– wages should inexorably do the rest. Now as the tarot girl says, it is hard and dark, because I am actually in “the belly of the beast”. But I will emerge triumphant. Burn on fiery bird, rise from the ashes.
I am earning £–,000 a year and I’m a single man with no children, so I should be financially very comfortable—but I’m not—because of my £–000 credit card debt. Christ, its only 1140. Being too early every day is so often the bane of my holidays—although arriving at Fifth Avenue after 6 on the first night was responsible for me losing sight of the intriguing woman so quickly. 1145. What the hell am I going to do till 556 this afternoon? A marathon Cine Paris session would be fine if the films weren’t as rubbish as they are this week. Carry on drinking my cans of Jupiler in the hotel lounge is probably the cheapest option—for a while at least.
Feel miserable and depressed and scared by what I’ve done. I crave financial security more than anything now. Just want to get this trip out of the way. IT LOOKS LIKE WITHOUT GOING TO STRIP PUBS AND WITHOUT TRAVELLING I CAN MAKE A PROFIT OF £500 EVERY MONTH. A FANTASTIC INCENTIVE. I CAN REDUCE MY DEBT BY £6000 BY END OF YEAR TO AROUND £–,900.
This is the year I fight back against my debt, finally. The most important year of my life.
Keep myself in steamy priapic frame of mind, permanently priapic to get me in mood for Brussels. My February payday onwards my finances suddenly improve exponentially. February payday is the golden day I start to climb out of debt and achieve financial stability.
On train I was thinking I could stay home January to save up some money then go to Brussels in February—then I realised! I will still end up in exactly the same financial point if I spend that 500 in February as if I spend it in January! I will still end up in the same point, so no point waiting until February INSTEAD of January as I will still be in the same position come end of February. So? Might as well go in January and the guilt of the money spent will keep me dry through February and March. Maybe go Tuesday and Wednesday, forget this obsession with Friday and Saturday. Earlier in week might be cheaper. And saves me agonising all week waiting for Thursday to come. Go on Monday or Tuesday, spend the money, get it over with then be GRATEFUL to be back home doing nothing! Yes makes sense. Better to go early next week rather than late, and better to go in January rather than February. Get it over with. Just go for two nights perhaps. Depends on Snap and my Paycheque. Realised I already have FIVE —- left! Another benefit from NOT going to —–. And if I only go to Brussels for three days then that is me covered without needing to spend another £45 now before I travel. Another little boost. EVEN WITH GOING TO BRUSSELS FOR 3 NIGHTS I GET TO FEBRUARY AT -1121 AND MARCH AT -651. SO REAL IMPROVEMENT EVEN WITH THE BRUSSELS TRIP NEXT WEEK. AND THAT INCLUDES £50 A WEEK WITHDRAWALS FOR SPENDING CASH. SO BY MARCH I CAN FINALLY HAVE SPARE CASH FOR REDUCING CREDIT CARDS (PRESUMING I DON’T TRAVEL AGAIN HAHA). ALL THE MORE REASON TO REALLY DO EVERYTHING I NEED TO DO ON THIS TRIP NEXT WEEK. GET IT ALL OUT OF MY SYSTEM. AISHA, PERRIE, BLACK BOB, WINDOW GIRL, STREET GIRL, ETC. JENNIFER IN EMPIRE. DO EVERYTHING THIS TRIP SO I DON’T WANT TO COME BACK AGAIN FOR A LONG TIME.
Yes I could just NOT go to Brussels next week, but then what is the point of being alive? We must live to have pleasure and excitement, and let us run a high debt. We have to have pleasure and high excitement. Not living in my house and never going outside the door. I can do that when old and infirm. While still young and beautiful I need to be going out. But whether I like travelling home on busy Sundays or not, I have to. That way I can have THURSDAY Friday and Saturday in Brussels.
Yes this is the year I turn my finances around. But let me have this last pleasure in Brussels in January, Thursday night, Friday night, Saturday night. No idea what I am going to do Monday to Wednesday, or following Monday and Tuesday. Cannot afford to go out the house and nowhere worth going anyway.
Such a strong feeling that I don’t want to go to Brussels but would so much rather save that £500 to boost my account and reduce my credit card debt. But think it too late to pull out now. Maybe just go for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights.
What a day. Less than 2 hours sleep total. Maybe it is my excitement about Brussels that is stopping me from sleeping now. 0245 Well here we are 31st December. Last day of the year. Can’t wait to get back to Brussels but at same time aching to save money, and reduce that credit card debt instead. I want to feel safe. And that means having a low enough credit card debt and enough money in my bank to let me put a deposit down on a studio and to be able to comfortably pay the rent every month. That is the place I want to get to this year.
But Brussels is so good I want to allow myself Brussels as well every month or two months. Otherwise, keep moving my stuff into —–, computer, —- blazers. Otherwise? Check out Vanessa in Soho on Monday, and Laetitia on Sunday? Keep my head DOWN at ——. Don’t draw any attention to myself whatsoever.