Now the reality sets in am I really going to stay inside the house every day? What to do today?

Now the reality sets in, am I really going to stay inside the house every day? What to do today? Clear my room out some more. And eat, eat, eat. Publish The Struggle to Stay Married.
It was Emily I was thinking of when I woke this morning. My new rule of forcing myself to sleep with someone every time I go to Fifth Avenue or Manhattan or anywhere is a good one. Makes the next trip more exciting than ever.
Type up all my holiday notes.
Intellectual pursuits. Classical music and ferns. My tapes. When I think about it, if I HAD come home Friday night as planned I was all set to go out drinking in London Saturday, and on Sunday and go looking for Laetitia as well. I have no doubt there is every chance I would have got through £133 on Saturday and Sunday in London, but also I would have carried on drinking Monday and Tuesday, popping to —–, and carried on drinking on all my other days off every week as well. So this £133 Eurostar expenditure may actually SAVE me money. Now I am staying in this Monday and Tuesday and I never would have done that. I always BUDGETED to take 400 euros out of the cash machine while away and so that is what I did in the end, and still had 38 left over. I did a good thing. It will work out BETTER for me. It has kept me in —– and stopped me WASTING all that money I have been wasting in London pubs, and it should actually REDUCE my drinking!
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1220! It’s snowing! It’s started. So today a day for joyous drinking, joyous eating, and maybe a little bit of naughtiness on the side

1220! It’s snowing! It’s started. So today a day for joyous drinking, joyous eating, and maybe a little bit of naughtiness on the side. The beer starts talking out of my mouth again! 6th beer. No desire to move, or go anywhere. 7th beer. No desire at all to go to Cine Paris today, as much as I exult in its continued existence. The sooner I get to Fifth Avenue and get away the sooner I can have a lovely Brussels Grill steak and/or Domino’s Pizza.

And with each can of Jupiler I finish off I become more tempted to stay

And with each can of Jupiler I finish off I become more tempted to stay—till Sunday at least, 2 more nights. Going home Sunday would set me back another £189 at least, not including spending money. There is not even anything in Brussels particularly to stay for, except it is less boring than London. And the feeling I have lived “within myself” on this 3 night trip and there is no point travelling if you are going to live “within yourself”. I’ve been so cautious and restrained, it has been pointless. NOW you hear the Jupiler talking. The Jupiler attempts to override my sub-conscious. An epic battle taking place within me—the beer vs my sub-conscious. This imminent last visit to 5th Avenue may be the deciding factor.

The problem is the only time when I start to get into the “zone” when I feel I want to f–k like an animal ….. is when the drink has just started to numb my body into cold insensibility

The problem is the only time when I start to get into the “zone” when I feel I want to f–k like an animal ….. is when the drink has just started to numb my body into cold insensibility, so I cannot gain any pleasure out of that f–king. Nothing new; since the first day I ever had sex with a floozie, this has been the problem; but it is getting worse, not better, as it takes more alcohol to get me into that “zone” than ever.

Well a cheap first day in Brussels. After 2 cans of Jupiler in my room I went straight to Fifth Avenue. I couldn’t wait.

Well, a cheap first day in Brussels. After 2 cans of Jupiler in my room I went straight to Fifth Avenue. I couldn’t wait. A couple of new curvy Brazilians, slim Bulgarian Emily with very sexy new hair, black bob East European with the beautiful face like Tatiana out of Peaky Blinders, the Perrie Edwards girl in very sexy black dress but she is TOO slim for me. No Inna, Leyla or Diane, for me the real stars, but I was attracted by Tatiana and Emily—oh and the best girl of all sitting in armchair at back the first two times I went to toilet but then disappeared. I stayed drinking longer than I should have done hoping she would re-emerge but she never did. Black hair, slightly Asiatic looking face, but impressive bosoms squashed in to tight low cut dress. She was the star. I hope I get another chance to see her. It surely is time I did something with Emily and Tatiana though. Drinking on an empty stomach, though, the numerous Maes I was downing went straight to my head and I came back for a cheap Tuesday night pizza, 5 euros, and came back to hotel with it then out like a light.brussels-6brussels-5brussels-4brussels-3

 

Stayed in bed all day pleased to say. Bit disappointed my weight back up to 15 stone but not surprising with morning Fosters

Stayed in bed all day pleased to say. Bit disappointed my weight back up to 15 stone but not surprising with morning Fosters. But this morning Fosters may make me spend LESS on beer as I will not need to go out to pubs on my days off. May make me DRINK less as well, if I make do with that one can on way home.
A nice relaxing three nights in Brussels, no pressure, take it nice and slow. 1030 train to Charing Cross, there by 1105, No.91 bus up to St Pancras, there by 1145 (is there a tube strike still?), and that gives me one hour 10 mins before Eurostar leaves. At hotel by 430. One beer to Cine Paris, stroll in the dark to Fifth. Steak then maybe, back to Cine Paris, finish in Empire.
Wednesday all day to spend in Rue d’Aerschot bars, finish off in Fifth, then Domino’s Pizza perhaps back to bed.
Thursday explore Europa Building and Wiertz, last night in Fifth and Empire.
Friday FIVE HOURS to kill between 11am check out and 556 train home. Long Cine Paris session, or last Fifth perhaps.
Just had a shit and nothing on toilet paper except light red blood. How I LOVE this can of Fosters on the way home though. And really NO pubs worth going to in London anymore. No desire for —- at all. I could have gone to —– today but thought let me wait till I come back then if I have some cash left I can treat myself to a visit to —- to make the —- journey less boring at least. Short visit only. Then from February paypacket my financial renaissance can begin, my financial blooming and blossoming, I hope. Cannot remember last time I saw a sexy girl in London.