The frustration at NOT having done anything with Mariana or Inna might make me really hungry with lust for them whenever I go back.
Repressed and randy back in London, I dream of —— black bob in 5th Avenue and Inna and Mariana.
A brief visit to Cine Paris. I hate the fact when I go into a porn cinema I immediately don’t want to stay, don’t like the film; I have to force myself to sit down and force myself to stay there and only then can I get into the films. Straight out to Café Jimmy and the Pelican girls outside. Are you a Peli-can or a Peli-can’t? Beatrice, as usual, the pick of the bunch. No music on the TV so I pressed on to Fifth Avenue and was shocked to see Inna there! So early! Then an old man came in and went straight to her, hugging & kissing & they very soon went to a room, so presumably she came in early for him. Anyway a real pleasure to see her; she does have that fresh bloom of sexiness on her that marks her out as different from all the other girls there, I’m afraid. So another cheap day in Brussels, just 55 euros or so. Left Fifth Avenue starving hungry, brought a Domino’s Pizza back to the hotel then sleep. A horrible night of indigestion, and here I am back in the Max lounge at 930am. Awfully early.
I wonder if I will ever meet someone I will fall for again? I mean EVER again. An —, a —–, a —–. Will I ever fall for a girl again? There is Inna at 5th I am attracted to. Adelina at Manhattan I was attracted to. Christ she WAS beautiful wasn’t she. Maybe she was just on holiday last time. I am attracted to —– it is true. HAHAHA how my exploits drive my enemies mad, even just wondering wondering wondering WHAT is he getting up to? Hahahahahahaha.
This makes me WANT to return to Munich now. Expecting nothing of course, but for its prime importance to me. And in expecting nothing I can once again derive pleasure from it I am sure. Yes always has to be Munich on the way to Vienna. A cheap Schillerstraße hotel. To Confound is part 1, I shrivel up in morning light is part 2, The Stripper is part 3. Taking me up to stomach flu, and end of marriage. What a big day this feels. Released by Inna and Mariana in Brussels I am sure.
More than ever I can become pure Priapism. I have not even started. Now I must re-boot and start again. I have the —– now, and I am free of the infection, and I have more money than ever before. And I am free. This can become the start of the most rampant time in my life. I started using the —– last summer but at one and same time, chance or not, was crippled by this pox. At same time I got new job with more money. Only now I have beaten the infection can I start my rampant life for real. Inna and Mariana were just the start of it.
I took it for granted but now looking back how fantastic it was going to Brussels and being so free of the pox AND with the ——. As soon as Inna sat next to me I knew straightaway I would take her to room; and Mariana in the windows. I want MORE rampancy like this when I go back. But no more Empire. Rather try Gascogne again rather than Empire. Cine Paris will be end of the night. Can’t wait to get back.