But us writers do, don’t we? Throw us sunshine we will bask in the sunshine, throw us rain and we will bathe in the rain. Throw us flowers and we will write about flowers, throw us shit and we will write about shit. Throw us your all-consuming jealousy and savage envy and we will write with great amusement about your all-consuming jealousy and savage envy; “oh! how sad! look at their poor twisted seething ugly little faces! As I go on enjoying all my voluptuous pleasures! How difficult for them! How I must torment them!”
Haha let my legend spread, and let them spread it for me. They think they are smearing me, they are just spreading my seed even further and doing it for me, like bees carrying pollen to germinate the whole world. They spread my legend for me and make it sure I will flourish and bloom and blossom even more. A bad reputation is a good reputation.
Going through old computer shocked to find how many attacks I suffered every single day, still in 2004! Every day there were SEVERAL attacks, it was still absolutely non-stop ferocious, everywhere I went. They tried so hard! And still I rose, still I bloomed and blossomed. How annoying for them! So many diary entries locked up in those old files. A lot of pictures to take. Wonder if I can carry the whole computer to —–???????? Anyway it will be 5 years till my Fin De Siecle 1999 diary catches back up with 2004!
I wonder if I will ever meet someone I will fall for again? I mean EVER again. An —, a —–, a —–. Will I ever fall for a girl again? There is Inna at 5th I am attracted to. Adelina at Manhattan I was attracted to. Christ she WAS beautiful wasn’t she. Maybe she was just on holiday last time. I am attracted to —– it is true. HAHAHA how my exploits drive my enemies mad, even just wondering wondering wondering WHAT is he getting up to? Hahahahahahaha.
Coming to work for first time back tonight I did feel nerves but I also felt a great supreme confidence! Come and have a go at me! You feeble undeveloped people! Felt really powerful and happy. Two days of good work no doubt contributing. But I have got so much more to do. Really encouraged by my ruthlessness throwing away all those tapes, and all those old —– era notes. The more I throw away the better I feel already!
Important to remember they are the ones under threat. My very existence threatens them, knowledge of all the naughty things I am doing every day and getting away with. My worm is very successfully eating its way through their minds and souls. Just sit back and smile and watch it happening.