How I have come on since June last year. The ———- gone, and not only that but now I have —————————-. What a belated discovery in my life! I have lost 2 stone since last June. I am earning about £-000 a year more than I did then. The pox is in abeyance for more than a month now. I have the regular supply of —— which thrills me so much. Everything finally is ready for the next great step forward, but we will see if it happens. Everything feels like it has been in retrograde this year up till now. When will the handbrakes finally be taken off and everything surge forward again?
Those men in shower room videos are a great discovery, why I never looked at them before. So sexy. How I felt in the old Sunset Cinema days walking up and down the stairs with my cock rolling for all to see. Fantastic feeling. Surely I can f— someone like an animal on this Berlin trip can’t I? Will my psychosomatic illness make the infection come back though? At least in June I will get my second biggest paycheque EVER (tax allowing). This 12 months I have earned £–,700 more than the previous year. What great memories in that 12 months? WSK Jackie, Adelina, 5th Avenue Lucy, all in last 4 months of last year. Massively crippled by the infection, made so much worse I now realise by TOO MUCH ——-. I prolonged it by my own actions. Fascinating now to see if I CAN spark this year to life in the last 7 months. Can it catch fire?
How ironic that the cure to my post-Hansa Studio “infection” was to STOP putting cream on it. Yet how did it break out like that? I have been clear since the day I got back from Vienna, yet I have no doubt it will reappear the day before I leave for Berlin on 13th June. Convinced of its psychosomatic nature. Because of a deep-rooted fear of sex, or of spending any more money I don’t have?
My pox feeling prickly but looks OK. How ironic my pox cleared up the day I got home from Vienna, Nuremberg and Brussels. How weird it broke out on that first day in Berlin after going to Hansa Studios? You never know when it can break out again. How annoying the previous night when I ARRIVED in Berlin I was heading to Stutti but had to turn back as I was too drunk, and next day the infection broke out meaning it was now too late. Surely it is psychosomatic.
Jupiter goes direct on —- -. It has been retrograde since January. I still have not had a great day yet this year, a day of erotic abundance, blooming and blossoming. Persistent pox partly responsible for crippling me. By this time last year I had the amazing three in a row of Amanda, Melissa and Manuela in Vienna at the end of January. Still waiting for that kind of feeling.
I slid over surface of Berlin and Vienna, because of pox? How exciting to do that jacuzzi thing in 77. And how exciting I am staying just around the corner. Monte Carlo, Sissi and 77 wlll be my LOCALS for 3 days! Nice to find a local bakers, and bar?? Check out that Paris Bar in Kantstraße, as well as Bowie’s flat and cafe on other side.
I was thinking trying to remember how I felt sitting in Berlin internet cafe, updating my websites, but not feeling particularly great was I. Not excited or anything, bit glum. Maybe because hotel had no minibar or music channel. Need to reread my notes from the last Berlin stay. Have to try to find some life in King George and Caligula to replace lost Stuttgarter Platz places. I wrote that I felt out of sorts in Berlin. How much did the pox breaking out influence that?