This year finally burst to life because of the changes I started to put into place after August 5th finally started to bear fruit

This year finally burst to life because of the changes I started to put into place after August 5th finally started to bear fruit. I did not stop the strippers till mid October so that slowed it up. I have got my weight down below 15 stone at last. I have got nearly everything in —–. Just think how much sexier still I will feel when I continue to bring my debt down, I continue to have more spare cash in my bank account, when I finish moving everything to —–, when I bring my weight down even further! Next year promises to be a fantastic year.
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Wonderfully even as train was pulling out of London I felt my confidence surging back and I even began to feel cocky and thought why hide my cockiness?

Wonderfully even as train was pulling out of London I felt my confidence surging back and I even began to feel cocky, and thought why hide my cockiness? I am working at ——-, earning £–,000 a year. I have complete freedom . I am losing weight (back up to 15 stone today but still). I am bringing my debt down. I have most wonderful job in world.

Weight just about sticking to 15’0 though wanting to go one above. I was thinking I need another miracle like the —– money to save me

Weight just about sticking to 15’0, though wanting to go one above. I was thinking I need another miracle like the —– money to save me, but for me by myself to have an extra £410 in my bank account every month just by not going to strippers will be amazing. And every month I don’t travel will save me another £710.

Last year was a really seminal year in my life. So many great discoveries. I discovered I can cut my own hair!

Last year was a really seminal year in my life. So many great discoveries. I discovered I can cut my own hair! Every day I can keep my hair as short as I love it. I discovered I can order rhino horn easily online. Now I can have sex no matter how drunk I am. I discovered I can stop drinking coke, and enjoyed massive weight loss from 17’4 to 15’7. I got the job of my dreams out of the blue at ——.

So today I will just pop to ——- for one beer then home. No strip clubs. Therefore nothing else to do

So today I will just pop to ——- for one beer then home. No strip clubs. Therefore nothing else to do. I was certainly hungry when I woke this morning, hungry for flesh. How long has it been??? I am using my time productively by working on The Double Life, and my chronological word document of ALL my writing even the stuff between my published books, even my diary stuff from old computer. That is invaluable work.
And weight down BELOW 15 stone! 14’13 !

Don’t despair about the £–,600, this is just the start. Amanda, Manuela, Jackie, Adelina, Lucy was just the start

Don’t despair about the £–,600, this is just the start. Amanda, Manuela, Jackie, Adelina, Lucy was just the start. There are even better times around the corner. You’ve got the hair clippers now, you’ve got the rhino horn, you’ve cured the pox, you’ve stopped drinking coke & brought weight down from 17’4 to 15 stone exactly. You are consolidating now, before the next massive steps forward.

Woke around 2pm (after pee break at 1119 already). Weight down to 15’1 almost 15 dead

Woke around 2pm (after pee break at 1119 already). Weight down to 15’1, almost 15 dead. Because I had NO breakfast before bed. Keep to that. So close to breaking that 15 barrier but can never quite do it. If I survive this, I will be so relieved, so happy. I will be flying. So last night nearly here, then 2 days off…..to go to —–??? What a sinking tawdry feeeling that gives me. That is all that London has left. This is why I cannot stop travelling just to be held in suspension. Sitting in a bar in Brussels staring out the window, drinking Jupiler or Maes or Stella. Or sitting in a bar in Vienna drinking Zipfer or Ottakringer or Weaselburger. But it is in those places, that oblivion, I am happy. Even if I am sad, I can wallow happily in that sadness. Are there others who actually feel HAPPY if allowed to wallow in their sadness? But I get no pleasure in wallowing in this sadness in London, it has to be in Europe, in one of my favourite cities in Europe. My 4 cities in the autumn stars—Berlin (though I don’t think I will ever go back there), Brussels, Munich (has become a stopover only) and Vienna. That first 1999 Grand Tour when I first set foot in Europe has branded itself into my psyche so deeply. It was like a branding iron, and I can only ever be happy in those same 4 cities.

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