So today I will just pop to ——- for one beer then home. No strip clubs. Therefore nothing else to do

So today I will just pop to ——- for one beer then home. No strip clubs. Therefore nothing else to do. I was certainly hungry when I woke this morning, hungry for flesh. How long has it been??? I am using my time productively by working on The Double Life, and my chronological word document of ALL my writing even the stuff between my published books, even my diary stuff from old computer. That is invaluable work.
And weight down BELOW 15 stone! 14’13 !
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Fascinating to put my 4 books into chronological order in one document; I had forgotten so much stuff that was put into my reissued books

Fascinating to put my 4 books into chronological order in one document; I had forgotten so much stuff that was put into my reissued books. Long lost material that I only recently uncovered and put back in. Fascinating too to read through my Munich To Confound stuff as well. This claustrophobic, Wilhelminian world. Stuffy, sickly, suffocating, but struggling to break through and fly, emerge from my chrysalis. The electricity provided by the outside world’s attacks was what I needed to finish my metamorphosis and emerge as the glorious iridescent butterfly, flapping above their heads, terrifying them, like the pterodactyl at the Geographical Society at the end of The Lost World. What have they unleashed on the world! What have they done! Why couldn’t they just have ignored me and let me be! They cannot put me back in my box, back in my egg, back in my chrysalis now. They have sowed the wind, now let them reap the whirlwind. NOW the books at last started to emerge, Autismus, Lotta & Sophia, The Cold Icy Air of the Mountains, Casanova. The butterfly’s journeys around Europe.

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On old computer I find so much missing stuff, stuff that fills all the gaps between Autismus and Lotta and between Lotta and Cold Icy Air

On old computer I find so much missing stuff, stuff that fills all the gaps between Autismus and Lotta, and between Lotta and Cold Icy Air, and between Cold Icy Air and Casanova. No doubt I cut it out for good reasons, but I want to now put it all back in to one continuous document, to get my chronology right once and for all. A project that can start tonight, and will keep me very very busy until end of October.

So everything does seem OK. No dramas, no trouble for me, no dirty tricks behind my back. —— is really sexy

So everything does seem OK. No dramas, no trouble for me, no dirty tricks behind my back. —— is really sexy, came in like a gothic widow today, all swirling black widow’s weeds. Spectacular.
FIN DE SIECLE (MUNICH 1996-99)
AUTISMUS
LOTTA
THE COLD ICY AIR OF THE MOUNTAINS
CASANOVA (LOST WANDERINGS)
THE DOUBLE LIFE
and also
THE HEART RIPPED OUT (1991-92) because it is these two summers that made me go to Sunset Strip for the very first time. It was THIS broken-hearted infatuation that made me go to strip club and start my career in infamy. That is why it DOES need to be written, somehow. June 1991 to September 1992. Check those black & red notebooks when I get home.

I cannot wait till I can book my October trip and how funny it is thought of being back in Munich that excites me most

I cannot wait till I can book my October trip, and how funny it is thought of being back in Munich that excites me most. I AM enthused by To Confound! I think I can make something wonderful and florid and lurid out of it; and if I do that then I can do something with Nellie’s Band as well, even smaller of course. The two summers. Of rain and thunder. Christ now I realise there is SO much great stuff in Fin de Siecle. Perhaps I do two versions, brief miniature To Confound, and long detailed Fin de Siecle. One the abbreviated speed read of the second. A man on the edge of madness, depression, completely bitten by the serpent of sex in fin de siecle Munich 1996-1999. Addicted to sex, revelling in it more and more, and the growing hatred and jealousy this attracts, till it is all out war.

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